Bird Stories: Fang, Finch 1 and Finch 2, and the Parrot

You've all heard stories of people who have had to go to rehab and straighten their lives and who are told that they must not begin a new relationship until they have completed the work needed to be a better, responsibile adult. Adulthood means you can feed the birds and clean their cages and be happy for them when they chortal and sing to each other but not necessarily to you.

If you can't handle that, you should try caring for a plant first.
Despite our weekend of indifference about birdlife, we decided to record the life of birds and how they came to find new lives or died while they were under our watch.

I am writing under the influence of Ambien.

First born, yellow canary was our only child when we lived in 24A Shaler Lane, Cambridge, Mass.0 2138. His name was Fang. Fang lived alone in a little cage hanging at the side of our hide-a-bed in the living room. Sometimes, one of his toes would grow black, and Tom would take the Bird to the Angel Memorial Hospital in Cambridge where we expected to meet doctors who had answers to our questions. Like why is our bird's limb growing black? Later, it was, why is this bird's foot falling off and what can we do about it?

"We don't know much about birds," the vet told us. "That will be fifty dollars."

Fang died a painful death, despite the fact that Tom bathed his feet in Epsom salts and talked to him in a soothing voice. He was buried next to the children's play ground at the side of our apartment.

The two finches were bought for Sam when he was in grade school. He was very responsible about feeding them, so I let him take them downstairs to his bedroom, where they starved to death.

I still feel badly about those finches.

Papageno, a gray parrot, was bought for Tom for Christmas with great fanfare. Tom was surprised for the first time. He's one of those people who guesses what present he's getting long before he gets it. Papageno lived in our kitchen by the window where he ate the curtains.

I could teach Papageno anything in three days. When Sam went on his mission, I taught him to say, "Where's Sam? Sam's in the Phillipines!" Delightful bird.

Not so delightful when he barked like the dog, so it was like having two dogs. But we liked him and he liked us until we went on vacation for two weeks. After that, he wanted to shred us to death. Beware of parrot beaks. Parrots are very sensitive to being left behind.

This all happened over a period of years. Finally, Jonathan took him home to Boise where he has become sane again, living a happy life in the midst of young children who hold him on their shoulders and enjoy hearing him squawk their names.

Tom and I take good care of our plants.