Saturday afternoon we went out to Toys R Us to buy the sword of Laban. And even though Laban's sword was "of fine workmanship," we went for cheap, which happened to be a long plastic Pirates of the Caribbean sword for $9.99. It had an "on" switch, which I'm sure Laban's sword did not have. Push that switch and a pirate gargles out an indiscernible threat.On Sunday, Tom gave the lesson of Nephi and his brothers returning to Jerusalem to get the plates of brass from Laban. You know how it goes, and if you don't, it' doesn't matter. What does matter is that Laban is found lying drunk on the floor and Nephi takes his sword and cuts off his head.
You've got to know this is the thrilling part of the story for a seven-year old. We brought out the sword to the joy of our class and acted out the scene. Everyone of the five kids had to be Laban and then Nephi.
I had to tutor the Labans on how to act drunk. This doesn't take long to learn even for a seven-year old. The Nephis needed no training. Brandishing a sword is innate in our little primate hearts.
After class the kids followed Tom out to the car to put away the paraphernalia and I cleaned away the empty Dorito bags.
On the stairs I met three of the girls. "We killed your husband!" Giggle giggle. "We cut off his head and chopped out his heart!" More giggles.
"You mean I don't have a husband anymore? Oh no."
Little shrieks. "We're kidding. We just cut off one arm."
Send your kiddies to our class and we'll teach them how to whack off limbs.
If my younger son was in your primary class he wouldn't be "sick" every Sunday morning. He is perfectly fine until he sees us getting ready for church, then he's deathly ill and contagious and doesn't want to make all his friends sick.
ReplyDeleteHe could get behind a primary class that included a sword fight.
I have a seven year old son who would LOVE your class. Very fun.
ReplyDeleteSounds like it was a huge success - I wish every lesson had such an opportunity for fun (and swordplay!) I have served most of my life in primary but am currently serving in R/S, your post made me nostalgic for moments like that. I miss the enthusiasm of children.
ReplyDeleteI would kill to be in that seven year old primary class!
ReplyDeleteSarah would kill to be in that class. But first she would cut off an arm.
ReplyDeleteLoved this!
I wish you were teaching my gospel doctrine class!
ReplyDeleteOh, wow. I wish someone had taught me how to be drunk in Primary!
ReplyDeleteYou and Tom are the kind of teachers we hear about over the pulpit. You may be teaching the next prophet:)
ReplyDeleteWhy aren't more of us teaching like that? When did we forget how to play?
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking if I taught that class, I would be getting calls from mom's concerned about teaching violence and alcohol. I started a mini-war in YW by having an activity showing an episode of Man vs Wild in preparation for girls camp. The only thing that saved me was that the request to show it came down from the Stake Girl Camp Director. That was the day I discovered a lot of the parents in our ward wished we were teaching how to make bread and other "womanly" arts.
ReplyDeleteI think its awesome you and Tom are equal opportunity in terms of teaching drunkenness and sword fighting. You never know when a girl will need those skills. Besides, those are the activities that are building blocks to deciding the Book of Mormon is pretty awesome.
PS. In preparation for the 2012 Writing Workshop Adventure With Louise (sorry, I had to overstep and give my fun an unofficial name) I have decided the coolest way to get to you will be to ride the train. I have never taken a train anywhere long-distance and that will be the icing on the cake. That and I despise being body scanned, x-rayed, having to take off half my clothes in public while trying to keep track of my purse, laptop and overnight bag. I break out in a rash just thinking about the hassles of flying.
ReplyDeleteYou. Go. Girl.
ReplyDelete