Saturday, December 22, 2012

Rules for gloominess at Christmas

1. Agonize in private.
2.  Attend all social functions and pretend you are thrilled with the season.
3. Hope that no one asks you what creative things you are doing with your grandchildren.
4. Decide now to go out of town next year.
5. Rule out violent suicide, but hang on to the one where you sleep on your balcony and freeze to death.
6.  Rule out freezing to death.
7.  Don't over eat.  It leads to heavy duty gloominess.
8. Go for a walk.
9.  Buy something.  Anything.  Christmas is two days away.
10. Watch White Christmas and sing along with Rosemary Clooney.
11. Watch yourself cry in the mirror.
12. Have hot chocolate in a china cup.

2 comments:

  1. keep giving us advice! This is one of the most helpful lists I've read in a long while.

    ReplyDelete
  2. #4 and #12. (Everything tastes better in or on china.)

    ReplyDelete