I'm 69 and have never had a massage. I've never wanted one. Other people touching my body? No no no.
This is related to seeing a group of young people on Main Street wearing black t-shirts with white print on the fronts: FREE HUG. I saw them from the car, and I said to Tom, "Oh, my gosh, I'd have to cross the street if I saw them ahead of me on the side walk." Free hugs from strangers? Creepy.
This is related to--I've only been in Victoria's Secrets once, and I was completely embarrassed by the experience. It's a whore's store.
Okay, it's not, but that's what it felt like. Of course, I buy my underwear in the Joseph Smith Building. I still wear white underwear.
You can see why a massage would be hard for a woman like me. I mean, you have to take your clothes off to a person, who is not your doctor.
Last Monday, we walked through Fashion Place mall and there were two Chinese men giving neck and back massages. You sit with your head in the doughnut. I must have paused briefly, because Tom asked, "Do you want a massage?"
And I said yes, because my neck and back hurt a lot. I said yes even though I would have to sit in a public hallway where people passed and stared. I said yes.
This five-foot, squarely built Chinese man massaged and pummeled my neck, back, arms and fingers. I think I had an out of body moment. It was that good.
He had a deep, gravelly voice and sometimes he said close to my ear, "Ree-lax."
When he was done, I pulled my head up from the doughnut and said, "Will you marry me?"
So now I'm thinking I may need to have a full-body massage. I'm thinking I've been missing out. I'm thinking I deserve this and I ought to stop being so priggish.
What do you think? Is it good or will I be traumatized?
how sanitary are those benches? do they ever clean them? whose greasy sweat halo did you rest your forehead on during that massage? dandruff, scabs, skin tabs, snot smears, dried saliva, sebaceous secretions, that's what I'd be worrying about.
ReplyDelete@Lara - they cover them in clean sheets.
ReplyDeleteI love getting massages. My back (especially lower) also loves them. The only part of me that doesn't love them is my bangs, after being smooshed into the donut for nearly an hour. I tell them to just deal with it.
It all depends on the masseur/masseuse. Find a good one and it is like magic. Regular massage has been key to management of my chronic neck/shoulder issues. If I go regularly (about once a month), I'm fine. If I start skipping, the constant pain returns. It took a few weekly visits to get things under control at first, but since then about once a month. I'd been going to physical therapy twice a week for months with little progress before I found the man with the magic hands. He did more in two sessions than the physical therapist had accomplished in months.
ReplyDeleteYou are far braver than I. Massage is way too intimate for a stranger - it makes me feel desperate - needing a stranger but clearly I have some issues. I did let my obgyn massage my feet once when he registered utter shock at the swelling and it was January and I could not fit into a pair of Uggs. But, we were kind of having a baby together so I felt more comfortable about it. I've heard a professional massage is amazing though and your mini massage sounded like heaven so go for it. Let me know.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE a full body massage. Are you kidding me? Why have you not done this? It is the best! It is the epitome of self-pampering. Don't even think about it for another minute. DO IT!
ReplyDeleteIf I could afford it, I'd get one every week. As it is, I've only had a handful. GO GO GO. And then give us a report.
It can be really good. My massage therapist had a table in her home, with clean sheets, so it can hardly compare with a chair at the mall. She would peel back the sheet one limb at a time. She pulled it down to my waist to do my back. She did my hip joint through the sheet. It was all very discreet and sanitary. And pleasant. And then, after a couple of years, she stopped doing massage. I haven't ventured to a new one yet. I'm a little shy, too.
ReplyDeleteI am pro full body massage. Ryan is scared to death to be touched by a stranger. I think you will love it. Turns my brain to mush because I'm so relaxed.
ReplyDeleteA massage = the best thing EVER. A lot of people are uncomfortable getting naked, which is silly since you can stay as clothed as you want. The white underwear might be a little awkward so I say walk your butt into Victoria's Secret, get a pretty pair of undies and go get a massage. You'll love yourself for it.
ReplyDeleteIf you are a machochist you will love deep tissue massage. I'm not sure what is worse: the embedded fingers in your flesh or when they actually walk on your back moving slowly up your spine until your neck feels like it's in a vice. The smelly incense hot stone type are for amateurs. And if you really want to up the ante, try a active release session where they take a small metal boomerand object and rub it deep into your soft tissue. Makes a root canal seem pretty tame.
ReplyDeleteDo it. I love it. It's worth it.
ReplyDeleteTake your clothes off and get an hour-long full body massage. Your body and your spirit will thank you. Tell your therapist that you are a prude and you feel fully covered throughout the whole process. It's magical. Do it!
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of the group massages my friends would do at play rehearsals, all sitting in a chain, rubbing each others' backs. I always declined. I am like you. No strangers or even friends rubbing my back, please. But I did get a full-body massage after I was in a minor car accident, and I must say it was lovely...although my nose dripped the whole time. The masseuse had to place a towel on the ground for my snot. Embarrassing. I didn't even have a cold. He said it was my body "releasing toxins." Maybe he was just being nice.
ReplyDeleteYay!! Louise will join the club of smart, enlightened, relaxed massaged people!! It is awesome, I have been benefiting from excellent monthly massages for years.
ReplyDeleteBonnie's comment is right, if you get a sadistic torturer they can really put the hurt on you. Just tell them you don't want deep tissue massage before you start. And if anything feels more than slightly uncomfortable, tell the masseuse and they will ease up.
The level of undress is up to you. I bought a plain pair of white full coverage granny pants underwear and that works great. Some women choose to keep a bra on too. I don't because my pain is in my upper back and shoulders and the bra straps are in the way. It is totally modest and all about strategic sheet draping.
My masseuse has a bedroom in her home she uses. I go about 7pm, get an hour long massage and change into pajama pants and t-shirt before I leave. When I get home, I go right to bed. Truly Delightful.
Louise,
ReplyDeleteLike many of your readers, I'm sure, you don't know me, but I love you! Geesh. Seriously. Anyway, do you even read comments on posts this old? Anyway, I totally agree about massages being creepy. Also Victoria's Secret. And the guy (person?) dressed as Elmo in Times Square. I hyperventilate every time I see him/it. BUT if your back is still hurting you, I am begging you to make an appointment with Dr. Hayes in Alpine. Do you believe inChiropractors? You will! The man is a genius. He was placed on this earth to make backs stop hurting. And it's not touchy feely at all. Just fixy. He can literally turn paralyzed with pain into floating on air in five minutes, and you may not even have to lie down.AND, in my experience, he doesn't to that scary, twist-your-head-off neck crack thing. I hate that.