Then the offspring marry strangers, who only know the codes of their own family life. And so it starts all over again.
It's scary, at the least. For some women, it's downright threatening.
I have four sons, who fortunately married smart, thoughtful, funny, long-suffering women. They are strong women, but I know for a fact they've had their moments with us--with me.
Tom and I are opinionated, loud, critical, skeptical, outspoken people. Whether we know anything about a subject or not, we can bluster on and fight about it. And we will. We can swallow you whole if you can't push back.
My daughters-in-law have learned to push back, set boundaries, and laugh in my face. I love that. I reserve the right to laugh in theirs.
I'm visiting Sam and Sarah in October and I've told Sarah in my most obnoxious way that now that she has a house with a first-class kitchen, I expect her to cook me unbelievable meals. Horse laugh follows. What I really want is for her to drive me straight to Sprinkles Cupcakes in Scottsdale where we will snarf up two cupcakes each and float together into a sugar high.
My mother-in-law always visited a month at a time. Sometimes, I developed serious facial tics.
A word about grandmothers and babysitting: I do babysit. You can leave me the longest list of do's and don'ts, but if they're not medical, I pretty much ignore them. I try to feed everyone decently, but if that doesn't work, it's ice cream. Days and days of ice cream.
So, if you are a mother-in-law/grandma, do you have advice for the rest of us?
I became a MIL a year and a half ago. My daughter married a boy with potential. That's what my husband and I call him late at night when we worry about the future of each of our 3 kids.
ReplyDeleteWe recently moved 6 hours away from my daughter and son-in-law. They are due with our first grandchild (they are naming her Eleanor - don't you love it?) I think being far away is good. As newlyweds (3 weeks married) the kids got a puppy from the pound. I was horrified. Not only did they have no clue how to raise a defenseless baby dog, they could barely feed themselves. I had nightmares of my poor suffering granddog. I spent $100. on proper dog food, chew toys, treats to make sure they were doing dog raising right.
One night they told me they planned on chaining the dog on a long lead to a tree in their unfenced backyard because they would be gone for the whole day. I freaked out. I shamed them into calling friends way too late at night and finding someone who would puppy sit.
If I acted like that over a grandpup, imagine how nuts I am gonna be in three weeks when Eleanor makes her grand appearance. Heaven help us all.
I'm going to cook meals that will knock your socks off. And then we'll go for cupcakes.
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha ha, Heather. My boys all married when all they had was potential and they've actually done very well.
ReplyDeleteIt may be a blessing that you live six hours away (unless that means you're driving all the time).
Judging from all these comments and do's and don't, I'm in for a lot of tongue biting and slammed doors.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ar3gsVKGd6U
ReplyDeleteShe's funny because she sounds so familiar.
PS Though Sprinkles cupcakes cost a small fortune, they are worth every mouthful. And don't forget to try Yogurtland by the fashion mall in Chandler. The Peach is a must.
ReplyDeleteYou better call me before you go to Sprinkles. I'll meet you there. I'll buy if I can enjoy some banter for a small time. Also call if you come to Chandler. Better yet come to Gilbert and have lunch.
ReplyDelete