The cake had an accidentLast Sunday was my birthday, and I turned 69. I never planned to be 69. I never said, "I can't wait until I'm 69, because then, pretty soon, I'll be 70!" I never dreamed about it, or thought for a moment about what it would be like to be married to a 72-year old man or have middle-aged children and dead parents. I never imagined having droopy, creped upper arms like failed custard or thinning hair, wormy veins. I never thought I would show up for lunch at a friend's house a day early (twice). Never dreamed I would ever have to watch my weight or my cholesterol or gauge my mental acuity.
Getting old was for other people. Not me. I was special.
And yet, here it is: old age. Going into it is a little like puberty--big changes, unfortunately they don't lead to sex. So here's what I'm thinking is important these days:
1. Wearing lipstick. Reapply every hour. Then, always wear a half smile on your face to keep from looking droopy and pinched. Smiling also makes you feel good. Can't account for this but it works.
Not too big of a smile, because then people think you're on drugs. A small lift of the mouth is all it takes.
2. Having an outrageous plan of some kind that scares the spit out of you. Like moving to Ecuador or renewing your Dutch citizenship and then actually moving to the Netherlands.
3. Or try something really new: stay put.
4. Be grateful for friends and relations who still love you despite your nasty foibles.
5. Be a believer, because not believing is so exhausting.
6. Don't be offended ever.
7. Buy fresh cut flowers.
8. Keep a budget.
7. Both laughing and crying are cathartic and cleansing.
8. Attitude matters.
9. Sometimes take the Muslim position when you pray (head on the floor, arms out in front of you).
10. Dance in your kitchen. Dance with your husband. Dance with your sister. Dance.
11. Some days it's good to be a cat and sit in your own special square of sunshine.
12. Have a plan.
13. Make friends with winter and rainy days.
14. A good haircut can change your life.
Oh, and make your birthday last a week. Answer the phone by saying, "Hello, it's my birthday."
Add something to the list!
I love this list!
ReplyDeleteTrue for those middle aged kids too!
1. Always buy whatever kids are selling on the side of the road.
ReplyDelete2. Everyone needs a friend.
Happy birthday!
Eat whatever you need to get your bowels moving properly. Nothing ruins a good day faster than uncomfortable innards.
ReplyDeleteLove the list. Particularly #11. I know your birthday is the 11th but my aging brain is always about a week off - so happy birthday!!! I don't think I've ever seen you without lipstick. Ever. You are a gorgeous woman and you know it. I am feeling older these days too (it's my birthday month too). I'm kind of alone as the mom of a fourth grader with an infant on my hip and yet at the pre-k pick up, I am clearly about 15 years older than most of the other mothers. But, I felt better the other day when a child called out to Tom, "Hey, is that girl your mother?" My 40's never felt better.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Louise.
ReplyDelete"Shake hands with someone like you want to meet them, or don't bother." Ann Curry
ReplyDeleteHere are the things that make me happiest:
ReplyDelete1. Eating outside in the shade.
2. Buying Mesa oranges in the winter and eating one, slowly.
3. A really excellent piece of dark chocolate and strawberries and cheese.
4. Going barefooted.
5. Letting natural light in the house.
6. Stepping in a puddle.
7. Walking outside with a humongous umbrella, whether or not it's raining.
8. Brightly-colored accents in clothing. Scarf, shoes, hat, earrings, whatever.
9. Honest laughter.
10. Fresh peaches.
11. A well-placed swear.
12. Sniffing the neck of a baby.
That's all I've got off-hand. Happiest of birthdays, Louise. You are a lovely mess of a woman.
Oh thank you, these are wonderful suggestions. A well placed swear is always good for the spirit and natural light in the house is like breathing.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Jacqueline.
A fishy handshake is for dead people.
And BOWELS. I could do a whole blog on BOWELS. ucgk.
I loved reading all of these suggestions. There is so much to enjoy in life, isn't there? Birthdays are about being happy.
ReplyDeleteI can remember very few people in my life who made me feel truly important, but I remember what it felt like when they looked in my eyes and gave me a much needed piece of encouragement or a compliment. It makes me so happy to try to be that person for other people. It's such a great buzz.
I think must be like that for other people. Just reading the comments, it's easy to see people love you. Well done! Happy Birthday!
Correction: "I think YOU must be like that...:)
ReplyDeleteMy sister wanted to get more mileage out of growing older so she adopted the policy of birthday celebrations lasting a day per year (60 days when turning 60).
ReplyDeleteI just took my first surfing lesson---and I stood up over and over again. I'm not sure whether the experience of riding the waves or the mere fact that I could stand was more amazing, but it was lovely. Never too old to learn something new!
I love never be offended. I also love a well-placed swear. I place *swears* well, often apparently. I also like to make up swear words. My favorite is shitters. Which is kind of just an extension of a real swear word. I never said I was imaginative.
ReplyDeleteNever stop watching people. I like the library for that.
Listen to music when you're cleaning. LOUD.
Open the windows at least once a day.
Buy flowers every once and awhile even though it's ridiculous and expensive and ephemeral.
There.
Happy Birthday.
Awesome post. I would add:
ReplyDeleteGo for a walk outside regardless of the weather.
Laugh at your husband's humor, it will make you both feel happy. Then give him a big smooch.
music! MUSIC!
read The Chattering Crow
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday! I love your list! I'll add:
ReplyDeleteSing. Belt it out in the car or in the shower when no one else is listening, or even if they are.
Ignore the dishes that need to be washed and read a good book.
If the items of the person standing behind you in the in the grocery line are less than 5 bucks, add them to your order.
ReplyDeleteIf someone compliments you on a piece of jewelry you're wearing (and it has no real value to you), give it to them, right then and there.
Happy, happy birthday, Louise, dear. Happy days will come to you all year...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!