Tuesday, October 9, 2012

IKEA misadventures

The last two times I have wanted something from Ikea, they have been sold out of that item.  I don't expect IKEA to be sold out of anything.  I expect them to have a gajillion of everything.

I wanted two cotton taupe pillows with piping,  20"by 20."  They had one.  Actually, they had more than one, but the others were display pillows only.  Eye candy.

This makes me a little snarly, because walking through IKEA to get to said pillow is like walking through the labyrinth at Knossos.  I get in there and think, "Holy minotaur, I have no water.  I'm going to die."

I broke through my Dutch DNA barriers and asked for help from a clerk, but she confirmed what I already knew:  you can't buy the display pillows.  And a new shipment was due in two weeks.

Two weeks?  I can go to Sweden and back in less than that.  I could have those pillows by Friday.

Anyway, I do buy the one pillow and a large bag of napkins and a pillow cover for half price out in the "odd and ends" room.

I roll my cart to the check-out, hoping for a human being to check me through, but there is only self- check out.

Can I just complain how much I hate a world that has moved to self-check out?  First of all, the computer asks too many questions.  Are you using an IKEA card?  A gift card?  A credit card?
Swipe here.  No, not there, you idiot, here.  Not here, there.  Dufus.  Wait for assistance.

Why not begin with assistance in the first place?

I bought two hotdogs for 50 cents a piece.  Yes, I eat nitrates.

I got out to my car and the key wouldn't open the door.  Really, world?  I checked my key.  Yes, it was the right key.  I checked my car.  Yes, it was my car.  Try again.  No, you have been weighed in the balance and found wanting.

I look away, next to my car, where there is another car, identical to my car.

It is my car.  The key works.

In two weeks, I'll walk through the whole IKEA experience again.


  1. Last time I was there I wanted a display item, too. They said I *could* buy it because they were out of stock *and* the item was discontinued. And then they told me the right manager wasn't there that day to approve the display sale so I couldn't get it. Grr.

  2. I don't know if all IKEA stores are the same I but applaud your courage even going inside. I had a full blown claustrophobic meltdown the one and only time I ever went to that store - it's a maze of dead ends and makes you walk though the entire store following a path of arrows. I abandoned the box of candles I had when I attempted to claw my way out.

  3. My husband says that IKEA is build like a casino: you can get in, but you can't get out.

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  5. So it was just a trip to Ikea the universe had in store for you. At least it wasn't cancer.