Foods my mother fed me

1.  Vienna sausages

2.  Spam

3. Deviled ham

4.  Hot dogs split in half and fried

5.  Chocolate sprinkles on toast

6.  Cream of wheat made with whole milk

7. Jello "salads"

8.  Dunford doughnuts

9. Canned green beans

10. Brown bread (homemade)

11. Margarine

My mother was the only one in our family who was allowed to eat butter.  She had her own little plate of it, which we were not to touch.  The rest of us had to eat margarine.  I tasted her butter, and I wanted to eat it on my toast instead of margarine.  "No," Mother said.

"Why do you get to eat butter and we have to eat margarine?"  I asked. (My life has been a long series of "why" questions).

Her answer:  "Because I have a rheumatic heart."

I believed her for years, until I was in my twenties and lived in Cambridge, Mass. 02138 and realized one Sunday afternoon that her answer made no sense at all.  I called her long-distance and said, "You lied to me about why you got to eat butter.

She laughed hard, unrepentant.  When she caught her breath, she said, "Butter was too expensive for a big family, but I can't stand margarine."  Laugh, laugh, hoo-haw, laugh.

Mother: 1.  Louise: 0