Linda J. brought up the fear that she might be murdered in her bed while in her dream cottage by the sea.
This is no idle fear. We all know people who have been murdered in their beds while the ocean ebbs and flows in the near distance. We have read it in books and seen it in movies. Every summer beautiful women hear a noise. They get out of bed in their skimpy night gowns to go examine the source of the noise. They don't turn on the lights. All the windows are open.
If they are downstairs, they go upstairs.
Don't they know there is no place to escape upstairs? Why not just walk out of your front door, get in your car and return home to your split ranch in the suburbs?
Rules for not getting killed in your dream cottage by the sea:
1. Lock your doors. I once had a cottage in Manti where I wrote, and I saw no reason for ever using the back door and I nailed it shut. Yes--nailed.
2. Close the blinds at night. Even if someone didn't want to kill me, but just peek-a-boo in on me, I would die of fright.
3. Leave the porch light on at night. It discourages loitering on your porch.
4. Is the beach in New York City or on Nantucket? There is no rule here.
5. Even in New York City I never met anyone who wanted to kill me. No rule here either.
6. Keep an AK-47 in the cottage.
7. You could bring a dog, but my dogs always woofed at anything, so that didn't really help.
8. Place noisemakers near all doors and windows, so that you can hear the intruder before he stabs you a dozen times and cuts you into tiny pieces.
9. Don't be a total idiot and watch WHAT LIES BENEATH before you go to bed.
10. Self medicate.