The Chattering Crow: Tom's blog

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Tom's blog

Tom has decided to write his own blog since his happy stint of filling in for me. You can find him at http://tommyplummer.blogspot.com/

I tried to make a blog list but nothing happened. When granddaughter, Anne, gets back from Germany in December, I'll have her overhaul my layout. I seem to have blog dyslexia. Or perhaps, this is just another symptom of general anxiety disorder.

For my grandson Harrison's 19th birthday, I told him my favorite smutty joke. Sorry, I can't reveal it to you here.

The thing I love most about this particular smutty joke is that when Tom was writing about jokes years ago, he found this book in BYU library where said joke was included.

As a nice "naughty girl," I enjoy these little ironies.

4 comments:

heatherOctober 26, 2013 at 6:04 PM
I guess I gotta go find Tom's blog to read smutty jokes. I can't wait. It will be hard for Tom to top the time our bishop at church shook my husband's hand and asked how it was going. Rob replied without thinking, "It's full of shit, Bishop."
Anyone surprised the next Thursday night we got a visit and plate of cookies from the bishop and one of his counselors? Yeah...it took a good long while for us to get off the "we are concerned about you" list.
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CSIowaOctober 27, 2013 at 1:05 PM
The only potty joke I have every found remotely funny:

When you enter the bathroom you're American, and when you come out of the bathroom you're American. What are you while you're in the bathroom?

European.
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MercedesOctober 29, 2013 at 1:08 PM
YES!
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You can quote me:

"The beautiful is as useful as the useful." Victor Hugo
"I don't want the damned sportsmanship award."
"Jesus glows in the dark like my pajama tops" George Plummer, age 4
"Our parents are crazy as hell." Sam Plummer, 2016
"Grandma, your hands are old." Sally Plummer, age 3.
"Expect the end of the world. Laugh. Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful though you have considered all the facts." Wendell Berry
"Sitting is the new smoking is the new bullshit." Tom Plummer, 2014
"Never move an old tree." Dutch saying.
"I am universally offensive." Dede Plummer, 2014
"I don't want to see any movie with the word 'guys" in the title." Tom Plummer, 2013.
"Please bless Grandma. And Grandpa. That they can have a nice time. In their apartment." Louis Plummer, age 4.
“Don’t be afraid to be confused. Try to remain permanently confused. Anything is possible. Stay open, forever, so open it hurts, and then open up some more, until the day you die, world without end, amen.” George Saunders
"Hello, my name is Tom, and I'll be your spouse this evening." Tom Plummer, 2012
Me: " Jesus knows EVERYTHING." Hank (10), "Yeah? How many fingers am I holding up?"
"In my end is my beginning." T.S. Eliot
"Nothing has prepared her for the wide, grey simplicity of sadness and for the knowledge that this is what the rest of her life will be like." Carol Shields
"My life has been a fog, but the only light, the only clarity-- has come from the simplicity of putting permanent ink on paper." Rian Plummer, age 17.
"When I die I'm leaving my body to science fiction." Steven Wright
"Does anybody need to go poopies?" Louis Plummer, age 3
"I grew up in the wide and spacious building." Charles Plummer, 2011
"Pride is a such a useless handicap." Christina Putney
"You are not too old and it is not too late to dive into your increasing depths where life calmly gives out it's own secret" — Rainer Maria Rilke
"Don't retire; retread your tires." Lucy Jarvis
"Grandma is never boring." Mira Plummer, age 8
"Not all who wander are lost." J.R.R. Tolkien
"The only way to get what you really want is to let go of what you don't want." Iyanla Vanzant
"Being in your body is a good place to be." Beatrix Ost
"I'm the world's oldest teenager." Iris Apfel, age 89