Sunday, October 5, 2014

First case of ebola in Utah

I have it.  These are my symptoms:  sore throat, coughing, sneezing, a strong malaise, light headedness, widespread body aches.  High anxiety.

How I got it:  in my closet there is a Calvin Klein blazer that I bought in the last 21 days and was more than likely stitched together in a Liberian factory by a now dead seamstress.

I am waiting to see blood.  Still waiting.  Waiting.

People who should be contacted in case of my demise: Tom, wash the sheets.  Erica, have your car sanitized.  Harrison, did we touch?  Sarah, Sally, Elliot, Louis, Melanie, Bill and Christine, Paula.

I know ebola is no laughing matter.  But my anxiety about it definitely is.


  1. My 9 year-old came down with a fever and upset stomach the other night. At one point I asked how he was feeling and he said, "I think I have ebola" with the most sincere little expression of fear and anxiety. Poor kid.

  2. I believe the ability to laugh at one's anxiety is an under-appreiciated talent. Still waiting. Waiting...

  3. Did you ever read The Poisonwood Bible where the pestilence cleanses and renews the earth? I am more afraid of shingles right now. Do you vaccinate for this? The flu?

    1. I always get flu shots and have had the shingles shot as well.