Tuesday, January 20, 2015

The high school excuse letter becomes an art form

In the 80's, Tom was renowned with Provo High School teachers for writing excuse letters for Edmund and Charles (I don't recall Jonathan ever needing an excuse).  Last night I rummaged through two boxes of memorobilia and found one of these:

November 13, 1987

Well, folks, Edmund Plummer got off to a Friday the l3th start today by waking up with a sore throat.

This requires some history, so please bear with me while I justify his early morning absence from school.  When Ed was just one month old, he had a cold.  Maybe it was not serious, but it was Friday and why take a chance that he could get sicker over the weekend?  So we carried him off to Group Health in St. Paul, Minnesota, where we lived at the time. 

The doctor, a kindly German lady, at first thought he was just wimping out by lying around, but a last minute x-ray showed that he had pneumonia.  The doctor put her hands up to her mouth.  "I'm so glad I decided on the x-ray," she said, "babies can die so fast from this."  

Well, his dear mother and I were so grateful that the pneumonia was discovered and that he is still with us.

It may be of further use for you to know that while were were living in Germany in 1973-74, Ed displayed a somewhat weak constitution and proclivity for bacterial infections by contracting strep throat no fewer than five times in as many months.  Needless to say, we were worried sick, but as you can see, he survived.  His mother was forced to medicate herself with tranquilzers, because of her maternal anxieties for Ed's health.

Ed has had numerous strep throats since then, but he has displayed courage and a spirit of sacrifice in the face of these obstacles.  He is, for example, unafraid to drop his pants and allow Dr. Myer's sweet nurses to inject him with life-giving fluids that destroy the nasty bacteria infecting his helpless body.

So, on this Friday the 13th, I hope you will excuse Ed's absence for an hour or two while he has been having his rear shot full of antibiotics.

Sincerely,
Ed's doting father

8 comments:

  1. Ha! I thought my mom's "To Whom it May Concern: Jill took a mental health day from school yesterday. She was stressed out. Sincerely, Her Mother" was a little off-beat. I need to get more creative with my girls' excuse notes! Thanks for the inspiration, Tom.

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  2. You and Tom are a good match.

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  3. Excellent! I would love to have gotten one of these notes from a student's parent when I taught school!

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  4. You guys really need to read DEAR COMMITTEE MEMBERS. This post proves it. xox

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    1. I second the motion for DEAR COMMITTEE MEMBERS.

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  5. That is delightful! Once my grandfather wrote me a late note stating "Please excuse Bailie for being late as I wanted to finish eating my eggs before driving her to school".

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