Yes I am. I am a minister of the Universal Life Church. I received my certificate on the internet yesterday.
I'm going to marry my grand-daughter, Rian and her true love, Tate, in mid-August.
If I want to, I can start my own church. So tempting. I can christen and baptize people.
I would be happy to baptize anyone out there, although I'm too weak to do the full immersion thing. But I'd be glad to baptize you with a silver soup spoon. Or a soup ladle, if you need real cleansing.
What, you might ask, does the Universal Life Church believe?
Pretty much what you want. Certainly, we believe in life, universally.
My church will have short meetings, short talks, a little laughing, a little crying, some scripture, some poetry and music.
Panty hose are not required.
As an ordained minister, I could wear my academic gown, (or even better, Tom's red Harvard gown), but I need to remember that it's not about me; it's about Rian and Tate, so I'll stifle the need for self glorification as much as I'm able and marry them simply and, yes, legally.