Tuesday, March 29, 2016

The Vermont Country Store Catalogue

Yesterday, a nurse at LDS Hospital looked at the name on my volunteer badge and said, "I read your blog."

"You do? Do I know you?"


"I haven't written a blog in three weeks."

"I know," she said.

So that was a heads up. Mostly, the reason is that my laptop gave up the ghost and I find I don't like to sit at a desk at the large computer.  I'd rather be lying on the sofa and writing on my laptop.  Is that an excuse?  Of course. My life has been filled with excuses; all of them valuable.

So, today the Vermont Country Store Catalogue arrived in the mail.  It was sent to a "Charlene" who used to live at this address.  Not the last person, because he was named "Abdul," and recently I found out that "Jason" also lived in this exact apartment.   Think of all those people we have shared a toilet seat with.  Makes me think I should order some Witch Hazel Salve for my rectal irritations. (There's also a product called Fire in the Hole).

"We've got a tonic for what ails you." Not everyone can promise that.

Moonbeam Meadow, a herbal formula that encourages restful sleep and relaxation.  Strength of the Hills aids digestion, relieves symptoms of arthritis and clears the sinuses! And there's Lung Flush especially good for athletes and folks with asthma, bronchitis, or upper respiratory infections. I can also buy homeopathic cataract drops and calm my tremors and shaking with a tincture blend of lemon balm, lavender and passionflower.

There's a page dedicated to gel toe separators and hammertoe cushions and there is a" military strength" fungus treatment.

I like Vermont cotton nightgowns, but the dresses look like they're made for old people. All comfort and ugly.

Oh wait, I am an old person.

I'll never be THAT old.


  1. Do they sell toilet seats? Problem solved. And I've missed you the last three weeks.

  2. I want one of those style nightgowns but fear I will wake up in the night and see my reflection in the window and forget it is me and not a ghost and scare myself half to death.

  3. It was a long 3 weeks, but this is worth waiting for!