Wednesday, March 30, 2016

The institutional phone call

This morning the phone rang. It was BYU calling. I didn't answer. I've been retired eleven years and barely know anyone at BYU anymore. Tom is in the tub. I yell, "It's BYU, don't answer!"

But Tom being Tom actually called them back to find that it was someone from the Alumni Association. When he heard this, he said, "Oh, I have the wrong number," and hung up.

"Why did you do that?" There is no good answer to this question, and I freely admit it's a bad question in any case.

The phone then rang again.  It's BYU again. "Don't answer!" I called to Tom.  It rang forever.
It stopped.  But immediately it rang again.

Tom answered. It was a man from the Alumni Association. "It's for you!" he called.

I could kill Tom by gouging my thumbs through his eyes while holding my breath. I could kill him. Married almost 52 years, and he doesn't yet get it about me and the phone?  Why would I want to talk with any institutional person?  They either want money or they want me to drive down I-15 in my car, which is the size of a tuna can, and do something I don't want to do.

A nice man--really, a very nice man--wanted to know if I knew any of Susa Young Gates's progeny, because they were honoring her at homecoming this year.

Why would I know this? I don't know why I would know this.

He reminds me that I wrote a short article on Susa Young Gates for The Encyclopedia of Mormonism.

Oh yes, I forgot I did that. "Well," I said, "Someone asked me to write it and I researched it like I would anything else I didn't know about. I don't know anything about her. I don't even have pioneer ancestors, and I pretty much hate people who do."

No, I didn't say that. Not all of it anyway.

Then, get this, he said, "I read your blog."


I blame you, Rob and Jeff.

I wish I remembered Mr. Alumni's name, but I was too busy worrying that he might ask me for money.


  1. HAHA that is one benefit of living abroad my university's alumni people never call me for money!

  2. Totally blame Jeff. It's a gem. Just like English 252. Without the stress of grades. All the best parts. Always a nice surprise. Glad you were at BYU in my day and on the web now.

  3. But I have to know. Did Tom's wheat ever grow?

  4. My mom and I read your blog too! It's lovely and humorous and refreshing. Please don't ever make it private. You should get google analytics so you know how many people are reading!

  5. I read your blog too. Just sayin'.