1. Even if you've been a whiner all your life, stop now. No one gives a damn about your pain.
2. Listen to your grandkids' music once in awhile. Bob your head. Smile. Ignore the lyrics.
3. Keep that body moving.
4. Hold babies as often as possible.
5. Leave the house at least once a day.
6. Keep a lipstick in your pocket. Apply every hour. You never know when someone will want to take your picture.
7. Use a cane when you need one.
8. Learn to tell a joke. Practice.
9. Better yet, learn a magic trick.
10. Dance to live music.
11. Make faces in the mirror.
12. Carry around a purse full of Pez dispensers to hand out as needed.
13. Surprise your grandchildren with new vocabulary like, "She's fly."
14. If you want to know what's going on in your family, join Facebook.
15. It's not all about you. Not even close. Except when it is about you.
16. Keep a costume closet for yourself.
17. Take your meds. People can tell.
18. No one likes a preacher. Just saying.
19. For that matter, no one really likes a good example.
20. Remember Everybody Loves Raymond? His mother, Marie, makes good comedy, but in real life you don't want to be that woman.