Saturday, March 1, 2014

Bob Costas is in the house

Tom, who has been bedded down with the grundge all week, sneezing, hacking and spewing nasal mucous into a thousand tissues, has now come down with pink eye.  So far it is just one eye, but that one eye is loathsome: puffed, red and seeping yet another bodily fluid.  Poe could write a short story about this eye,

We sleep in different bedrooms.  Initially, we parted over the noises he made when falling off to sleep. I'm not talking about the coughing.  This is a new terror: snoring and prattling in his sleep.  Tom has always been a quiet sleeper, but now his bronchial passages roar at night.  I shove him, and say, "You're snoring," and then, "Tom, stop!"

He moved voluntarily to the guest room across the hall.  If it hadn't been that, the pink eye would have forced him out.  The pink eye is ugly.  I have anti-ugly rules.  The pink eye offends my delicate sensibilities.  I may have to buy him a pirate patch.  I'll throw in a studded sword and a chest filled with Mardi Gras beads.

This is the old marriage, I think.  Separate bedrooms, parallel lives.  He watches foreign movies on his laptop.  I'm looking for apartments in NYC and then fall off to sleep watching reruns of Inspector Morse.  Sometimes we yell at each other through closed doors:  "Yo!"

8 comments:

  1. Sounds like life at our house (except for the Pink Eye) … sorry for both of you, but "this too shall pass."

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  2. Don't tell anyone, but I really want to have my own room. Hope Tom feels better soon!

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  3. A dear friend of ours got a nasty case of pink eye during the Olympics and of course everyone who knows her made Bob Costas jokes. She didn't know Bob Costas before her pink eye and now she says she despises him. Her pink eye was mangy looking too. I hope Tom heals fast. I won't horrify you with the most popular online home remedy for pink eye - human breast milk squirted directly onto infected eye. I don't know if that is something Bob Costas tried, but it was highly recommended for him. Poor Tom and Louise!

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    1. Any volunteers for that online cure?

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  4. Oh, Louise, you are as funny and blunt as ever. Love it! And with that said, I'm going to ask a favor because I am a friend of your friend Ann Louise and a colleague of your daughter-in-law Erica! I've actually met you and attended one of your WIFYR sessions where you endeared me to Stephen King. I am the literacy specialist at Jordan School District and I'm in need of copyright permission to use an excerpt from one of your novels. We want engaging, well-written pieces to use with common assessments for our high school Young Adult Literature classes. I've heard it said by CLW that NO ONE develops characters like you do, and I have to agree because KATIE BJORKMAN is proof! Soooooo could you please tell me whom I contact and then put a good word in for me? It's the least you can do for a friend of a friend and a colleague of a daughter-in-law, isn't it. Sorry to use this forum to contact you, but it was the only avenue I could find. Much appreciation, Renae Salisbury (renae.salisbury@jordandistrict.org)

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    1. Renae, Erica has my phone number. You can call me. Meanwhile, I have to think about what kind of permission you need. That book is still in print. I'll ask around. Maybe I'll know the answer when you call.

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  5. You're looking for NYC apartments? Does that mean you'll be moving back?! :)

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