Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Uvula crisis

Okay, I don't like it when the uvula swells up and drags around the back of your throat.  I always think I'm coming down with something much more serious--like ALS.  Or I have that mysterious disease I heard on a childhood mystery radio program where someone's throat closed and they died.

You can die of throat closing?  I have been terrified ever since.

My uvula has been in crisis for several days now, and so I've gotten online to find out that extended uvulas cause snoring and that there is a procedure where they cut off part of the uvula.

I don't want that.  I don't care if it's a fifteen minute procedure.  I don't want it.

I want my uvula to be invisible to me.  I don't want it reminding me of a gag reflex.

So I was surprised to learn that some people have their uvulas pierced for a uvula ring.  See the babe in the picture.

Why, people, why?

Please don't have it be anything to do with sex.

Gag me.


  1. Actually, I thought it did have something to do with sex. Because that word. It's confusing.

  2. I never even knew I should be afraid of death by throat closure!

  3. Speaking of confusion, I recently discovered that a person can get acne in places I never would have considered. The wonders of the human body!

  4. I must be naive because I just can't even imagine how a pierced uvula figures into sex. I bet that wasn't in the Kama Sutra.