Wednesday, March 30, 2016

The institutional phone call

This morning the phone rang. It was BYU calling. I didn't answer. I've been retired eleven years and barely know anyone at BYU anymore. Tom is in the tub. I yell, "It's BYU, don't answer!"

But Tom being Tom actually called them back to find that it was someone from the Alumni Association. When he heard this, he said, "Oh, I have the wrong number," and hung up.

"Why did you do that?" There is no good answer to this question, and I freely admit it's a bad question in any case.

The phone then rang again.  It's BYU again. "Don't answer!" I called to Tom.  It rang forever.
It stopped.  But immediately it rang again.

Tom answered. It was a man from the Alumni Association. "It's for you!" he called.

I could kill Tom by gouging my thumbs through his eyes while holding my breath. I could kill him. Married almost 52 years, and he doesn't yet get it about me and the phone?  Why would I want to talk with any institutional person?  They either want money or they want me to drive down I-15 in my car, which is the size of a tuna can, and do something I don't want to do.

A nice man--really, a very nice man--wanted to know if I knew any of Susa Young Gates's progeny, because they were honoring her at homecoming this year.

Why would I know this? I don't know why I would know this.

He reminds me that I wrote a short article on Susa Young Gates for The Encyclopedia of Mormonism.

Oh yes, I forgot I did that. "Well," I said, "Someone asked me to write it and I researched it like I would anything else I didn't know about. I don't know anything about her. I don't even have pioneer ancestors, and I pretty much hate people who do."

No, I didn't say that. Not all of it anyway.

Then, get this, he said, "I read your blog."

COME ON! IS THIS A TRICK?

I blame you, Rob and Jeff.

I wish I remembered Mr. Alumni's name, but I was too busy worrying that he might ask me for money.

6 comments:

  1. HAHA that is one benefit of living abroad my university's alumni people never call me for money!

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  2. Totally blame Jeff. It's a gem. Just like English 252. Without the stress of grades. All the best parts. Always a nice surprise. Glad you were at BYU in my day and on the web now.

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  3. But I have to know. Did Tom's wheat ever grow?

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  4. My mom and I read your blog too! It's lovely and humorous and refreshing. Please don't ever make it private. You should get google analytics so you know how many people are reading!

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  5. I read your blog too. Just sayin'.

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